I woke up today like any other day, running through a laundry list of tasks in my mind while I got dressed, and sipped coffee. But today was not like any other day, it was your first day of kindergarten, one of your first huge milestones. I didn’t think much about how I might react once you where gone for the day. I had been too focused on what to make you for breakfast, what food to pack for your first ‘big boy’ day, and of course what special sticker to surprise you with when you opened your lunchbox. No, I wasn’t prepared at all for the rush of emotions that were about to empty onto the bottom of our driveway after your bus pulled away.
You were your normal sweet, talkative self all morning even while the rain accompanied us at the bus stop. You carried on without a care in the world as if it was like any other day, not knowing that my stomach dropped every time I heard a school bus in the distance. To pass the time I took some pictures which seemed to help until we
began looking at them together and then a lump formed in my throat. How did you get so big so fast? Where did the time go? How did I get so lucky? Then the moment arrived, the school bus was here. Without any hesitation
you turned to me, gave me a big hug and kiss and said, “I love you Mommy, have a good day”, and you scurried onto that bus quicker than I ever would have liked. The door shut, the stop sign on the bus retracted and you began to pull away. You waved from the window and I stood in a daze watching with my camera and umbrella as the bus turned the corner out of site. I cried. I cried until it hurt to cry and then all at once I felt helplessness, sorrow and pride. I was helpless to prevent you from growing up, saddened that our time together was being taken away, but proud that you were that brave, confident little boy that couldn’t wait to go out and introduce yourself to the world.
I know that this is just one of many special moments in your journey through life and I hope that while making this journey you “Live like it’s Heaven on Earth, love like you will never get hurt, sing like no one’s listening, and dance like nobody’s watching”, and I promise I will try to do a little less crying each time.
I Love You,