I am turning 37 on May 3rd and I am a bit uneasy about the whole thing. I mean, I don’t feel 37, I don’t think I look 37, and I know I don’t act like I am 37, so what’s the dillio? At this point in my life I am finished growing my family. The husband, two kids and dog are enough to add unwanted years to my life. Therefore I should be happy that I will still be relatively young when both children are in high school and college, but I’m not. I secretly envisioned myself partying at frat parties with my daughter while my son’s friends remark at how they can’t believe that I am actually Logan’s Mom. I want to be able to go out with my husband in years to come and have people think that he hit the jackpot and married a hot younger woman-A LOT younger. Yes, this is vanity at its finest but I am just saying what most of you are already thinking…right?
I never felt as though I was getting old by any stretch until this past winter when I went back for my college alumni basketball game. During halftime of our ‘barn burning’ performance a few of the current players came up to talk with us. I was having a great time, chatting with my girls and reminiscing about the days when we were hot shit. That was until one player asked what year we had all graduated. Not hesitating for a moment I said nonchalantly, “1996,” to which she replied about three octaves higher than necessary “Oh my God, that is sooooooo funny, that was the year I was born!” I looked at my girlfriend Kristen dumbfounded, “Yeah okay, ha,ha, ha…that isn’t possible! Is it?” Unfortunately it is possible and was in fact the truth. For the first time EVER in my life I was actually depressed solely because of my age. I began running my fingers over my face looking for wrinkles while scanning the gym for my walker. I mean seriously, what a downer.
So because I always try to put a positive spin on things, I decided to make a list of 10 reasons why 37 won’t suck too bad:
- No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks…
- No more hangovers.
- No more condoms (vasectomy’s are AWESOME).
- I have accomplished two of my life dreams-becoming a mother and a wife.
- I have acquired so much more patience than I ever thought possible.
- I am not quite “middle-aged” just yet.
- I can use the kids as an excuse for almost anything.
- I only found 3 gray hairs.
- On a good day I might find more than $5 in my wallet.
- I finally, truly like me!
Okay, so I suppose 37 doesn’t look that bad after all. Therefore I will succumb to the inevitable, stick my tongue out at Mother Nature and yell “Catch me if you can,” all the way to the finish line. Cheers to never growing up!
Yours in Health,
“The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.” – Hervey Allen