Play Ball!?

Logan at bat under my husband's watchful eye

My 5 year old son began another spring season of tee-ball, yeah me…NOT! I say this not because I don’t love watching my son play sports and have fun, but it’s extremely difficult for me to watch him sit on second base picking dandelions or running around tapping his teammates in the crotch asking them if they had a hard cup on their penis too…okay, that is pretty funny,but you get the picture.

Both my husband and I played collegiate basketball and are VERY competitive, yet at this point we don’t want to pressure our children into activities that they do not enjoy. If they begin an activity they have to finish it but they do not have to do it again next season if they aren’t interested. At this age I believe in exposure, exposure, exposure. Although I still feel at age 5 it might be too soon. Their short attention spans, incessant whining and multiple potty breaks are enough to push any coach into early retirement. I don’t know about your town, but around here it’s easy to become a frustrated parent after you see that your future MLB All-Star is playing with ants instead of fielding ground balls and the 4 year old phenom on his team is catching pop flies. Believe me, it happens. My baby sitter who takes a full load of college classes and teaches dance is amazed how many of her 7 year old students have busier schedules than she does. Within one week some of these kids have dance, a tutoring class, swimming, tennis and school!

But this is how things work today, right? You begin playing Mozart, Bach and Beethoven to your unborn child through headphones attached to your belly, after birth the “Baby Einstein” videos, then you move onto the “My Baby Can Read” series, and after your 2 year old is reading you bedtimes stories you sign them up to master a second language…for some, a third. Once they are walking then come sports. Swim lessons on Mondays, karate or dance on Thursdays, and soccer on Sundays. By Kindergarten the only way you know your kid might be headed in the right direction is if they are reading at a tenth grade level, doing your taxes and able to bend it like Beckham! Okay, so I might be exaggerating with the taxes-that stuff is confusing-but either way you look at it,it’s regoddamndiculous!

My husband and I believe in letting kids be just that…kids! And during every tee-ball, soccer or karate practice I work very hard at reminding myself that he is only 5 and try to enjoy these very few precious moments. But I will admit at last week’s tee-ball practice when my son said, “Daddy I have to poop reeeeeeally bad! We have to go home right now before I get a butt affection”, I was not one bit disappointed! 

Yours In Health,


This song is great! It completely epitomizes my son’s baseball “games”.


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